There it was, in my inbox, my graded paper. My heart filled with dread. It was crap, I knew it was crap. I didn’t put enough analysis into it, and I didn’t proofread thoroughly enough.

I double click on the attachment.

“Oh crap, here it comes,” I thought to myself as the Microsoft Word splash screen appeared across the screen. My heart raced, I held my breath, preparing for the worst.

“EXCELLENT FROM START TO FINISH. 3/3 POINTS!”

I don’t know why I worry so much, why I assume that everything I hand in is going to be a train wreck. I have gotten perfect scores on every paper I have written since I started at Buffalo State in January.

I just don’t know why it is hard for me to believe in myself sometimes. It’s not like I expect to fail when I begin a project, but when all is said and done I never think it is good enough.

So, with this entry I resolve to start believing in myself more. I think this is necessary for me to take the work I do to that next level.

Four weeks into the semester and I quickly realize I regret taking last semester off. College is where I belong right now. But in that short period of time where I experienced the world through the eyes of a man with an associates degree I realized that I can do better.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with only having an associates, but certain doors were closed to me. By continuing my education I am hoping that I will kick open those doors and enable myself to take any opportunity that comes my way.

I still feel that Niagara County Community College was the best choice I could have made coming out of high school. I received a good education on a budget. Buff State is a smart second step, with the added benefit of feeling more like a “real” college.

The campus is Beautiful, especially the new student union. It is comfortable, but promotes productivity. So much so that I get most of my homework done during Bengal Pause. Unfortunately because of my workload I do not do much socializing while I’m at Buff State, so this study time is much appreciated.

Part of the Retail Section of the Student Union

So, how are my classes? Right now I would say that they are more difficult than anything that I have taken at NCCC, but not extremely difficult. Additionally, my professors are more invested in my education than I expected them to be. Class sizes are smaller and more personal than I expected out of a four year school.

Students have as wide a range of character as they did at NCCC. I don’t want to get too much into it, just that there are some students I get along with great, and some that I’m not sure if they want to be there.

What else will these two years at Buff State bring? I’m not sure. Whatever comes my way I’ll be sure to write about it!

If you go to Buff State follow me on twitter @dugglus. If I can be social while I’m on campus I can at least be active digitally!

This is the beginning of my sorta-kinda professional blog. I’m not going to blog exclusively about my professional endeavors, there will be some fun stuff too!

But more about.me. My name is Doug Mandell (@dugglus). I’m a college student at Buffalo State College, a web developer for Lewiston Web Solutions, a specialist for eLearning at Niagara County Community College, a photographer, and a DJ.

If that sounds like a lot, I guess it kind of is. During the week I am incredibly busy. During the weekend I am moderately busy.

So, now I have a professional blog. That is a start, but here are some things that are on my to-do list for this site this week.

• Add photography portfolios
• Create an easy way (besides twitter) for potential contacts to contact me.
• Update my linkedin and add information to this site.
• Create a consistent blogging schedule, and keep to it.

Until next time, stay hungry, keep fighting!

@dugglus